Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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