Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize