Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
