I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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