I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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