And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
