im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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