hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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