Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
