I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My vagina is officially offended.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
