So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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