do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
