Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
