playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my sisters under your porch take her home
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
