U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
