Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
