I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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