I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
