So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
