Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
