STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I party with great urgency now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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