Don't make out with my wife yet
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
