Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the room spins SO much faster in panama
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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