What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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