We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
