im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
