Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
