I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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