holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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