I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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