People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize