She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
