OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
