dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
