You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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