Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
