just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
