I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
