The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
