I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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