We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
