who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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