Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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