Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
