I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
