You're completely useless in the revolution.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
