Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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