Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
