She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
