If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize