so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
