are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
