Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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