Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
