some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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