On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
