I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
