Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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