We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
