I wish my penis had an off switch
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Of course I have a pirate flag
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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